Unforgiveness

Life has been good to me lately but I seem to have settled for what was comfortable and I never really pushed to anything further than that. I feel as though I had been caught up in a cloud of unforgivenss and I was afraid to let go because I lied to myelf I had forgiven them meanwhile I didn't. Taking the first step of forgiveness changed my heart, my lifestyle and my thoughts.

Forgiveness isn't just you forgiving others,but you asking for forgiveness plays an important role as well. You basically holding on to something that slowly feeds on your flesh, next thing its too late to let go. Funny thing about unforgiveness; it does not bother the next party or the situation but its takes your peace away.  The next person might have let go years ago and they are living happily but for some reason you feel like you controlling their emotions meanwhile you are traumatizing yourself.

I forgave and asked for forgiveness from anyone I hurt or was hurting.  I put people that hurt me in balloons and situations that I seem to never forget, my ex boyfriends and much more. I took this balloon and I sent it off into the air. As I saw it fly up, I realized it has disappeared; there is no way I get it back. After all thus, I walk away. I let go!! The feeling after walking away and not looking back gave me more light in my life and things became more clearly, I was able to love others and make better decisions not based on emotions I had been containing.

When I encounter these people again, I won't treat them the same way I did before, because one thing that clouds unforgiveness is love.  

My thoughts,  lifestyle and heart is now driven by one thing and that's love.  Unforgiveness is an ugly monster that keeps you away from people but love draws you closer to people to care for them and pray for them. Being able to forgive have given me the confidence to ask for forgiveness for the most petty things from people and the most amazing thing is, I do it immediately.
   
Let go and leave your arms open for more blessings.

In his presence

It was always easy to start praying when I wake up in my bed, it went something like: “Lord thank you for life, bless us today…… then I fall asleep… then I awaken saying amen” When I think of how God feels it breaks my heart, because imagine you talking to someone and they fall asleep? Am I of no value that you would fall asleep? Today I got up my bed, went into the lounge and prayed like Jesus did when he went up the mountain before Judas handed him over to the Chief Priest. It was as though it was just me and him right there, that was the time for me to let out all my anxiety and depression because he really cares. Having an encounter with the God of love is a beautiful thing, he reminded me of his love and that changed me, I just approached everything throughout the day with a positive heart. I even found myself praying for people I need to be hating, Gods love is amazing.

The day of confirmation

There are several feelings that I have had throughout this day alone; i was awakened with anxiety, doubt and fear. I tried heading to my phone to chat to someone to distract these feelings, but everyone was asleep. Therefore my last option was to turn off my data and go on my knees. I figured that I am so weak, that I could not even end up on my knees, i ended on my face down. Words could not express the way I felt besides my tears; I was hungry for the presence of God that I felt so scared without it. Going to church made is all better, God just confirmed many things in my life, things like: I know what he tells me to do but why am I not doing it? I need to be obedient.  Obedience is an important thing when we talk about our relationship with God. We claim we love him, but do we love him that much to be obedient to his word.  To solve many issues in my life, I’ll need to take the first step of obedience, I let go of the past and am moving forward in his word as a young Godly woman. This simply develops a spirit of peace, courage and Godly confidence. Amen

Dress confidence

Early morning i have to get to work, in the train i decided to read my book callrd "living an extra ordinary life". I dont always do this but today i got hold of a word that will take me throughout this day. It spoke about the confidence David had when he faced Goliath. Every individual has their own type of goliath, whether it be losing a loved one, finances or even your friends. God says am here i am your helper, look at this battle as it has already been won. David was discouraged by his brothers yet he still trusted God. Even when i feel discouraged to keep chasing after Gods heart as a young woman, ill lean on God cause the battle is won.

JAZZ MASTER CLASS- 28 MARCH 2015

Jazz Master Class, Cape Suns Hotel. Great class with Wallace Roney Quintet ft Lenny White and Buster Williams. Buster Williams encourages us that if you really want to play an instrument you will have to put your all into it, although your fingers burn your tutor pushes you to do it right; endure. When you're chosen for a certain mission and you feel as though its too much and you want to quit, it is worth the struggle and strain. "My music is just a contribution to what is already in that channel, i hope will be accepted into that field because basically it is a contributon.#‎CTIJFTND‬ ‪#‎cityofcapetown‬ ‪#‎capetown‬ ‪#‎westerncape‬ ‪#‎proudlysa‬ ‪#‎CapeSunHotel‬
" :Roney

Guess who came my way when i decided to make a few adjustments in my life. I wouldnt say he is a sent from heaven because he has his bag of issues; such as "Taffy no, Taffy are you sure". When i actually think about it, he seems to have made me grow more confident about myself by questioning all my thoughts and actions. At times we feel like negative criticism is there to make us doubt and feel back about ourselves, but meanwhile if you actually decide to water it with thought you would realize you can actually grow from it. To conclude this mystery person i would say he is a faith grower in his own way: Blessed to be a blessing.

The Jazz Festival that is right at the door step. Excitment is pumping, looking forward to the entertainment. Tickets are sold out but there are available work shops, all you need to do is book then you in. Have fun